Self-esteem Explored. What is Self Esteem?
- Unveiling Pearls
- Jun 23
- 2 min read
Self-esteem is the way we see and value ourselves. It’s the inner voice that tells us whether we’re doing okay, whether we’re lovable, capable, and worthy of good things. Simply put, self-esteem is how much we like and accept ourselves, warts and all.
We all have an internal measure of self-worth that develops over time, shaped by our early experiences, relationships, successes, failures, and the messages we’ve absorbed from others. For some, that voice is encouraging and kind. For others, it may be critical or full of doubt.
There are two main types of self-esteem: healthy self-esteem and low self-esteem.
People with healthy self-esteem generally feel secure in who they are. They’re not perfect, nobody is, but they don’t let their mistakes define them. They can accept compliments, set boundaries, try new things, and recover from setbacks without losing their sense of value. They’re also more likely to have healthy relationships, because they aren’t constantly seeking external validation or approval.
On the other hand, those with low self-esteem may struggle with self-doubt, perfectionism, or people-pleasing. They might feel “not good enough” no matter how hard they try. Everyday challenges can feel overwhelming, and criticism whether real or imagined can cut deep. Low self-esteem doesn’t mean someone is weak or broken; it usually means they’ve internalised messages that taught them to question their worth.
Self-esteem also differs from self-confidence. Confidence is about what you can do, your skills and abilities, while self-esteem is about who you are. You can be confident in your work and still feel deeply unsure of your worth as a person. Similarly, someone may not feel especially skilled at something, but still have a solid sense of self-worth.
Why It Matters
Self-esteem influences nearly every part of our lives: our relationships, careers, mental health, and ability to handle stress. When you have a healthy sense of self, you’re more resilient. You can face rejection, failure, or difficult emotions without falling apart. You’re also more likely to make choices that reflect your needs and values.
Can Self-Esteem Be Improved?
Absolutely. Self-esteem isn’t fixed it can grow and change. The journey often starts with self-awareness: noticing the way you speak to yourself, recognising where your beliefs come from, and challenging the stories that no longer serve you.
Small shifts can make a big difference:
Practicing self-compassion instead of harsh self-criticism
Setting boundaries without guilt
Celebrating your wins, however small
Surrounding yourself with supportive people
Seeking help when you need it, including counselling or therapy
Further information
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